Subtly Sexy

In our fast paced world of instant gratification, gratuitous nudity, overt ostentation and generally over processed everything, one can easily become bored and nauseated simultaneously.  Subtlety is a dying art and one which I thoroughly enjoy utilizing.  It's not always the obvious or expected route but it leads the mind there in its own clever way.  I think a relatively straight forward and simple example of this is the classic black sheer hosiery with the line that goes up the back, which we currently have at RELISH (see image to the left) which also happen to be great for a holiday party!  Done obviously these tights could be paired with a mini skirt and a revealing top showing ample decolletage.  There is nothing wrong with this and someone wearing this could look great, but there are times when you want to be sexy but in a more sophisticated and understated way.  What I like to see these tights with, is flat shoes (or low heel just for a little elongation of the legs), ankle booties would be nice.  A skirt or dress that hits at or just above the knee leaving the viewer to imagine just where the extension of that line goes.  For the top I would put a chunky black sweater or something with an asymetrical hem could be nice to offset the vertical lines of the tights.  As always jewelry and a scarf to pull the look together.  An interesting hat could also be a nice touch.

The point is, when a viewer sees this outfit they take in multiple ideas at the same time creating a more complex whole concept.  Sure the tights are sexy but paired with lower shoes and a chunky sweater they become a wink and a nod to sexuality, the idea of possibility as opposed to directly spoon feeding straight sex to whomever has eyeballs. In many ways this is taking back control of dressing from the perspective of the hegemonic "male gaze" and truly a subversive thing to do.  It makes someone ask, "Who IS she?"  Which is simply, very intriguing and very sexy.

What do you find sexy? How do you dress to express this?  Do you agree or disagree with this post?  I would love to hear!

The Best Present

There is a certain phenomenon that seems to have pervaded the Midwest.  I've seen it enough times to even go so far as to call it somewhat of a trend. I hesitate to speak on it but it must be said and please know, I say it with love.  Sometimes I have clients who come in looking for a few things to snazz up their wardrobe before they go on a trip like many of us do when we head off on an adventure.  I have noticed these trips usually tend to be either to New York or Europe (specifically Paris).  In hushed tones of respect they mention they want to up their game a bit because they want to look more put together since Parisian (or New York) women are so fashionable and they don't want to be embarrassed by their usual, daily style fare.

So, here's the thing, while I also celebrate and admire my stylish sistren inhabiting the East Coast and gay Paris and love getting inspiration from them, I don't understand waiting to jooj up your style until you go on a trip for 3-7 days out of your year where no one you even know will see you. What are we, your most immediate Chicago style sisters?! Chopped liver?!  We wanna see you looking sassy too!  I think it's important to take pride in your appearance on a daily basis.  It's a form of being present in the here and now and not waiting for the future or a few days of your life where you are on vacation (read fantasy) to present your best self.  It's harder to maintain something long term as opposed to a few days where you have no strict schedule but that's precisely why it's important.

There is lots of talk floating around about being mindful and to me that doesn't just magically happen, it's comprised of lots of little pieces.  It's engaging in your community, not always multitasking with technology while walking, it's slowing down and enjoying your food and it's looking and feeling good about yourself TODAY because who knows what tomorrow will bring.

What do you think?  Do you or someone you know wait to go on a trip to pull yourself together? I would love to hear!